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El Plata: Boobs, bums and tallywackers

September 18, 2011


When you think of Spain you probably think of bullfighting, salsa dancing, chorizo and sangria. However, last night I was persuaded to visit El Plata, a cabaret bar in the heart of Zaragoza’s ‘El Tubo’ district, popular with tourists, stag parties and students.

I’d been told it contained a stripping element but after seeing the Ladyboys of Bangkok earlier in the year I’m pretty accepting of cabaret with a twist. However, I wasn’t quite expecting it to be as odd, explicit and hilariously bizarre as it actually was.

The show opened up with a large lady in a tight dress surrounded by some topless men banging drums as she sang. I think it was lulling us into a false idea on what was to come as that was the most innocent part of the night. The second song was the most shocking however – the lights came up and on the stage a stunningly muscular young man wearing nothing but a cheeky smile on his face was huddled in a ball. He started flexing and exercising naked to an arty soundtrack, later deciding to do a handstand with his legs somehow bent over his body, showing everyone sitting to the right of the stage (myself included) the contents of what he had for lunch through his exposed arsehole.

The weirdness of the show didn’t die down, highlights included topless women dancing to a religious Scottish hymn, repeatedly lifting their kilts up and flashing their beef curtains to bemused audience members nearby. There was also a bassy track where a row of naked women would slowly hop from one side of the stage to the other, boobs bouncing in unison. This was later done by the men, creating the world-famous ‘helicopter trick’.

Later on in the show a couple of naked men decided to cover themselves in mud whilst dancing to a record I can’t now remember, then taking a shower on stage for everyone to enjoy. Can’t say I complained.

If it wasn’t so bizarre and amusing, it may have been arousing to sone people – thankfully I was rather drunk and enjoyed it for what it was meant to be – an entertaining cabaret night with a naked, dancing twist. Thoroughly recommend it, especially as it’s free entry (if you buy a drink).

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